Let me tell you a sad story about a girl named Haddy....
So I knit this clapotis, right? Out of koigu. My first koigu ever. It turned out lovely. Soft and squishy. It's probably one of the best things I've ever knit. Along the way, I started to really think about the color. Was it too pink? Was it for me? Would I wear it? Then one morning while knitting on it on the train, I had this great idea to give it as a Christmas gift to my dear friend who has a thing for pink. Maybe I'd wear it to try it out, but I was 95% sure it was going to this special person for Christmas. It was so in the bag. Me! A Christmas gift done in October?!? YAY!
I blocked it Sunday and I knew that tonight it would be dry. We had an impromptu dinner at my mother-in-law's tonight. Hubby's Auntie is in town. She used a knit a lot. I'll take it to show her. I came home from work, changed my clothes and un-pinned the clapotis. It was better than I expected. I was still on the fence. For me? Christmas gift? Maybe I should try it out, then decide. We were short on time, but I made Hubby snap this pic:
So, we go to dinner. It's a raucous good time. Dinner's winding down. I decide it's a good time to show Auntie. I bring it over to her. (Brace yourself...) She sees it and says, "It's beautiful! Thank you."
Inner monologue: WHAT!?!?!?!?!
I say, "I knit this." Trying to redirect. She says, "I know. It'll look so lovely with my new pants."
Inner monologue: Oh F*CK!!!!!! She thinks I made this for her!!
Auntie is getting up there in age and her hearing.... well it sucks.
Inner monologue: Omg. Omg. Someone help.
I look around. No one is noticing this sh*t. She says she loves it and it's so beautiful and thanks me again with a big hug.
Inner monologue: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
I take one last good look at it and consider petting it one last time before I return to my seat. No one else was really paying attention, so no one came to my aid. I sit down and think several of these things at once:
stupid idiot! Why'd you bring that? Why didn't you show Mother-in-law first? How can I get it back? I can't believe that just happened. I only have one frumpy picture!!! Nooooo!
Then, I look over and Auntie is crying. She is petting the scarf and admiring the stitches. No one else noticed what was going on. She was all teary over this scarf. She just kept petting it. She gets up and slowly walks the scarf up to her room.
At this point, I'm still praying that perhaps this hasn't happened. Maybe I can go upstairs and steal it back? No. She loves it. I hope she loves it? Does she love it? I actually glanced over to where my coat was hanging. Perhaps this is a dream and it's still hanging where I left it. Drat. Just a plain black coat over there.
The thing is, I'm pretty okay with things going. I consider myself a process knitter. I love me a finished product, but ordinarily I'd let a project go freely. Not this one. This one was so special. Even to give it to my friend was going to be a sacrifice. I knew this and this was part of why it was to be such a special gift for this friend. I was willingly going to part with this for my friend. I knew that she would love it and wear it in a way that any knitter hopes that a knit will be cherished.
The other thing is that I love Auntie too. She's wise, beautiful and she's had a tough life. She deserves that scarf. She really does. It just kills me that I can let it go. I need absolute reassurance that that scarf won't be tossed aside, or re-gifted, or found by someone in the dirty salvation army bin. Oh, the horror.
So here's what I need. Help me to believe. Please, I beg you.
Do you ever think your knits have minds of their own? Like maybe they want to go with certain people? Or perhaps you have certain plans or expectations of your yarn and try as you may it just wants to do what it wants to do.
As of right now, I'm believing it. That scarf was meant to go to Auntie. I'm going to believe that my idea for this scarf was good, but somehow that scarf just knew it needed to go home with Auntie. It knew it would be loved and cherished. It knew that it could provide her with something she desperately needed.
Please help me believe this. Otherwise I think I might never knit again.
PS - She lives in Florida! A wool scarf owned by someone that lives in FLORIDA! Oh, help me. I may not get over this.
8 comments:
don't worry about the florida part, if she's older, she's probably cold all the time and the scarf will actually be perfect for her. I have to be careful with my grandma in that same way. She just loves to get things :) My great aunt (at 97) would love to pet it and see if she could identify the stitch, but my grandma would totally keep it. :)
It was meant to be! If she had tears in her eyes & pet it lovingly, it WILL NOT go unused or unloved. It gets cold in Florida too & Weaver is right ... old people are cold most of the time. You were going to give it away anyway so buy another color for yourself and knit another Clapotis. Your friend is meant to have something else. My Clap Scarf is going to my sister even tho I used the most expensive yarn in the world. But didn't feel right on me. Blue goes so nice with her eyes AND she lives in Florida. Last time I made something for her she cried too. Go figure!
At the risk of saying the one phrase from my life that I truly HATE, "What is, is.". Sometimes nothing else can descibe how plans, no matter how carefully constructed, go arwy. Feel blessed that you were able to bring joy, albeit from the opposite direction.
Haddy's Mom
On the thought that yarn has its own life: Two weeks ago I was in Pat Catan's (local craft shrine)and I couldn't keep myself from perusing the yarn. Now, I haven't knitted in 3 months (not by choice) and I have scads of yarn laying here unused and/or started and abandoned. But two skeins of yarn that I had been admiring literally jumped off the shelf into my hands. They were knocked off the shelf by forces I had no control over. I could have put them back but I didn't. I don't need them, won't be knitting for awhile yet and there are plenty of yarn options at home. But they will make some pretty terrific baby sweaters. I'm pretty sure that that yarn was meant to go home with me.
The first question from Haddy's Dad was "What do you need more yarn for?". I couldn't really explain it so I went with the stock answer, "What do you need more tools for?". Stalemate, end of questioning.
Does yarn have a life/destiny of its own? ABSOLUTELY!! Haddy's Mom
I don't believe that anyone who sheds tears over a "gift" would treat it poorly. I think your scarf will be loved. Be strong and give it up as a good deed. I do feel your pain though.
two skeins on their way to the post office and then to you.
LOL!
Why does this stuff always happen to you??
Oh, what a disaster! I'm really sorry to hear that your friend's present got "misappropriated". :-( But hey, if she was actually crying with happiness, then at least the knitting served a very noble purpose.
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